


Contagious

by JaceDexter



Series: Clothing Wars [2]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Clothing wars, Consort Bilbo Baggins, Crack, Dwalin laughing, Dwarven clothing, Established Relationship, Humor, Humour, M/M, Men of dale - Freeform, Payback, Post BOFTA, Post BoFA, prank
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-14
Updated: 2015-12-14
Packaged: 2018-05-06 16:46:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5424473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaceDexter/pseuds/JaceDexter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Bilbo has his payback at Thorin and the Men of Dale are now warm. </p><p>Dwalin is on it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Contagious

**Author's Note:**

> For the anonymous commentator " :3" on the last fic. This is for you and your idea.

A conspiracy was afoot, thought Thorin to himself as he wandered through the rebuilt Dale. At first it hadn't registered. After all, they were clothes he'd seen all his life. It wasn't until he almost arrived at Bard's door that Thorin noticed the peculiar clothing choices of the Men walking around and by that time he was already late to his meeting and couldn't ponder further. 

He entered the house that had been assigned King Bard's and was instantly bombarded by noise. A screech sounded to his left as two children (who were almost bigger than him now) rushed passed, one holding a trinket high in the air as the other chased them. 

"Your majesty," Bard approached with apologetic expression. 

Thorin nodded, "Shall we get this meeting over and done with?" 

Many hours later Thorin left the meeting and the house with his head throbbing, suddenly wishing Bilbo had been here in his stead. The sun had already set and few Men were loitering about as he returned to the Mountain, clothing choices long since forgotten. 

A few days later, Thorin was 'ordered' by Bilbo to get him some new parchment because "if I'm going to be doing all this yavanna damn paper work for you, I'm going to need more ink!" and apparently it could only be a specific type of ink found in Dale which Thorin found highly suspicious. Nevertheless he trudged unhappily once more down to the city, Dwalin at his side. 

This time, admittedly, he noticed the clothing much quicker. The clothing was very distinctly dwarven. Heavy furs, leather straps and Mahal steel cap boots! Only dwarves wore steel boots! 

With a distorted grunt Thorin turned to Dwalin. 

"What?" Dwalin asked innocently. 

Thorin narrowed his eyes at him. It was a good poker face, he thought, but he'd known Dwalin all his life and Dwalin was never 'innocent'. 

"Might I remind you that as your King I can order you to tell me."

"Tell you what?" Dwalin predictably responded. 

Thorin gave a sweeping glance to all the dwarven-dressed Men. He silently wondered how every single one of them seemed dressed almost identically. 

"I can also reassign duties," Thorin said threateningly. 

Dwalin twitched before a voice sounded behind him. 

"Ah! King Thorin! What a pleasant surprise," Bard called out. 

Thorin turned around and plastered a smile on his face. 

"King Bard," He nodded his respect. "I was just admiring the clothes your people have adorned..." He could hear the rustle of clothes behind him as no doubt Dwalin quickly signalled to Bard. 

Bard looked towards Dwalin with a confused frown. 

"Ah, yes! I do believe that was Bilbo's idea as a suggestion to keep warm when the months get colder. What a lovely suggestion it was too. Everyone is very taken with it." Bard grinned. 

Thorin resisted rolling his eyes and took a deep breath. 

"Bilbo's idea was it?"

Bard looked nervously at Dwalin. 

"Yes?"

"I'm gonna kill him!"

Thorin stormed off back to the mountain leaving a roaring Dwalin in his wake, laughing so hard tears were streaming down his face. 

A high five was exchanged with Bard before he raced off after Thorin. 

No way he was gonna miss this!


End file.
